I’ve been really into stick and poke tattoos lately. I did the top two on my friend Lillie and the 94 on myself. It’s for 1994, the year my brother passed away. I also did the letter M on my calf and a triforce (hollaback Zelda fans) on the bottom of my foot.
Tattooing feels really personal to me, even though I don’t always get tattoos that are loaded with a ton of meaning. I usually get one after I’ve been dumped, but I don’t consider the 94 to be the one I’m due for. If you live in LA and want a stick and poke, reach out! They’re free, of course.
5:36 pm • 6 March 2014 • 23 notes
Matt, Samiy and I at the Short Stop in Echo Park. I love that girl dearly.
5:30 pm • 6 March 2014 • 1 note
this is from a few days ago.
i bought myself flowers at trader joe’s. it is ceaselessly pleasurable to have fresh flowers in one’s room. i can’t stop looking at them.
6:26 pm • 13 February 2014 • 1 note
I was meant to wake up at 7h30 and take myself out to breakfast. I was going to make good headway into the Ravi Shankar autobiography that my ex boyfriend gave me two Christmases ago. I was then going to spend the rest of the day cleaning up my life.
However, due to the fact that the last two evenings were spent doing shrooms with friends and staying up till six am letting all the all the goofiness of our guts spill out into the room, I ended up sleeping in.
Instead, the first order of business was dumping my lover of two months because I was tired of repressing my affection for him. I was tired of pretending that I didn’t want to stay in bed all day with him just talking and being ourselves, that I didn’t want to go to a bar with him and get stupidly drunk, that I didn’t want to walk with him along the train tracks by richmond hill, that I didn’t want to have disagreements with him, that I wasn’t feeling the whispers of love creep up on me.
Once that was over, I bought myself flowers, tea, clementines, crackers, and cupcakes. A semi-healthy reaction, no?
The rest of the day was spent in bed watching movies and napping. I watched two new movies that instantly became favorites. Welcome to the Dollhouse, starring the girl who always plays the slightly obnoxious friend in movies like The Princess Diaries. She was wonderful, terribly awkward, lonely, and charming. The second was Submarine, starring a Bud Cort look-alike (fine by me).
I’m still in bed, stress-eating cupcakes, drinking cold coffee, and reading the missed connections on Craigslist. My hair is greasy. My fingers smell like pussy from wacking off all day. My room is a mess.
I have a date later though. Which is groovy I suppose. Don’t worry, a shower is coming right after I post this.
Also, here’s a photo I took a couple days ago.
8:16 pm • 1 February 2014 • 1 note
this past weekend we celebrated my friend martina’s birthday. after hitting a dive bar that had been on my list since day one (the Frolic Room), we went to harvard and stone and danced to 50s hits. it was fabulous. “runaround sue” came on (amongst many other faves) and martina snapped this great picture. bourbon babes doing what they do best: drinking whiskey.
up top is me dancing at h&s. below is an hour prior, at the Frolic Room.
p.s. check out those lashes! thanks to martina for helping me get them on!
10:52 pm • 21 January 2014 • 1 note
i bought this little deer figurine from a craft store (and have purchased many others from dollar stores—important tip!) and painted her gold. the gold paint i got was very warm and light, almost like white gold. i painted a first coat of a warm ochre because i realized it would require an intense amount of coats of gold to get it opaque. i think it turned out really pretty! sometimes it’s nice to just have pretty things hanging around. in fact, it’s necessary. she’s hanging out in front of my map of scandinavia. did you know that the cardigans, ace of base, and abba are all from sweden?!
6:43 pm • 12 January 2014 • 1 note
My friend George texted me one day and said he needed my help for a half an hour. He had locked his keys in his car and needed a ride to the club (I use that term lightly. There’s never a douche in sight.) where it was parked. I started work in exactly half an hour but I’ve been trying a new thing where I say yes to every opportunity that comes my way.
So I picked him up, drove him to his car, and helped pry the door open just enough for him to unlock the door with a coat hanger. The whole thing took about ten minutes. He admitted that he locks his keys in his car semi-frequently. No wonder he was a pro.
We parted ways, George in his car, me in mine.
As I drove away, I burst into tears.
There was a person in the world who chose me to help him. Someone in the world decided that I was the person to call upon.
It was as if we had become friends. Oh my gosh, that’s it, I thought. That’s it. We had become friends. I had a friend. I was a friend to someone else. The girl whose tagline used to be “burning bridges since ‘92” was now building bridges.
7:56 pm • 9 January 2014
I now live in a place where it snows. I have before (France, bitches) but I knew that was temporary. I really, truly LIVE in Asheville, a place where it snows!
The other night was the first real snow of the season. It had snowed (it was more like a cough of snow) a couple times, but only for about five minutes.
To celebrate, I went for a walk. I got bundled up in my bubblegum pink winter coat (two dollars from Goodwill) that makes me look like a 90’s mom and Hunter rain boots (not two dollars from Goodwill), and set forth into the snowy night.
There are some events that absolutely must have a soundtrack. This was one of them. Want to know the perfect song for a walk in the snow? Lalo Schifrin’s theme to the movie Cool Hand Luke. Instant happiness.
I put the song on repeat and proceeded to experience Asheville underneath a layer of white. I saw the shadows of a thousand snowflakes dancing underneath a street lamp. I saw a car silently do a 360 and then cautiously continue on its way. I saw myself in the windows of shops, grinning like mad. Everyone I passed on the sidewalk was grinning like mad as well.
A couple hours later having arrived back home, I wondered if I would have preferred to have the company of a friend. The thought was quickly dismissed, however. Some things are better alone.
7:36 pm • 9 January 2014
killer caprese sandwiches
can you forgive the lack of photos? i promise that’ll change soon. i don’t eat meat when i’m at home, i reserve that for when i’m with jason or other people. even then, i try to make vegetarian choices, but i use “social contexts” as my excuse to eat meat.
- cherry tomatoes
- whole milk mozzarella, in 1/2 inch thick slices (or thicker—-ain’t no sin)
- fresh basil
- crusty bread, like a skinnier pan rustico or sourdough baguette (my favorite)
- balsamic vinegar
- good extra virgin olive oil
- salt and pepper
slice the bread open lengthwise and toast until golden brown. brush the insides with olive oil and balsamic (this is to taste, but i also appreciate enough to make sure the bread isn’t too dry). slice open the cherry tomatoes and squeeze the seeds out. crush them gently to flatten them and arrange a layer on the bottom piece of bread. add a single layer of basil, and then the mozzarella. sprinkle with salt and some freshly ground pepper and there you have it. i have a hard time eating only one daily.
10:34 pm • 7 January 2014 • 1 note
i bought these clothespins at the 99 cents store. i wasn’t sure what i wanted to do with them, but it quickly came to me. i love a pretty color palette paired with wood anything. i already had the paints on hand, but you can get them for about $1 each at craft stores. also, the handle of that paintbrush is wrapped in hockey tape. i think i need new brushes.
back to cleaning my house now.
9:34 pm • 7 January 2014 • 11 notes
from “shine your light” by gap dream. lately i’ve been telling myself to be brave because sometimes, that’s all there is left. i get stomach aches when i get scared, and i’ve gotten a few recently. but courage (or as i heard it, ‘shining your light’), despite seeming overwhelming and hard every now and then, is necessary. sometimes it’s really hard to shine your light. by that i mean, sometimes it’s really hard for me to shine my light. i’m trying to shine my light so brightly right now, and it’s hard. (geez, how redundant am i right now?). i imagine and see myself as an illustrated, whimsical adventurer (based on my favorite aspects of myself and my life) and the wind is blowing my hair, and my feet are firmly planted and i may as well be holding a sword and shield. a scimitar (exquisite) and an elven shield (superior), to be exact. are these skyrim references doing it for you?
1:56 am • 6 January 2014 • 6 notes
yesterday, jason and i made a salted caramel pie that i saw on almost makes perfect (how awesome is molly, by the way?!). it truly was delicious. jason whipped the cream by hand (my all-american fix-it man). we didn’t get to eat it for quite some time, though, because it had to chill for four hours. but other than that, it was super easy to make and required very few ingredients. and, as i said, it was incredibly tasty.
for dinner, jason and i checked out mexicali tacos on figueroa—-probably my new favorite mexican spot. we each got a vampiro (a quesadilla filled with meat and a crazy good garlic sauce) and a cachetada (basically a torta, but with a chipotle aioli. i mean come on.) dinner for each of us was about $8! i’m hungry for it now, and i just ate. sigh.
after dinner, jason and i headed over a favorite haunt of mine (ours): the train tracks by the LA river. it’s always very dark and quiet over there, and you can hear the water (when there is water) and it’s peaceful. we brought his polaroid, a six pack of modelo, american spirits (not that either of us smoke, cough) and some sparklers. we talked about post-apocalyptic los angeles and other very important issues. i love those times the most. unfortunately, it was a cold night and neither of us were dressed adequately. but we lit some pretty sparklers and enjoyed our beers and it was nice. as we walked on the tracks back to the car, while looking at the ground so i wouldn’t trip on the rocks, i almost grazed over some small bones and a skull, right in the middle of the tracks. but i halted and shouted, “dude!” and as my eyes adjusted, i confirmed it wasn’t just a pile of bones, but an entire dog skeleton. call me macabre, but i took a good 75% of it home. jason held the black plastic liquor store bag open and shined a light where we excitedly identified all the different bones: an intact spine and tail, both shoulder blades, the skull and jawbones, ribs, femurs and the standards, and even the paws. tragically, we knew it was a dog because around the skeleton’s neck was a skinny purple collar. another sigh. but now i have bones that i’ve been waiting for. secretly (but now it won’t be a secret, i suppose) i’m really into taxidermy and have always wanted to taxidermy something. or at least just own some terrible taxidermies. i saw one in a vintage furniture store that had a look on its face like it was stifling a laugh but also panicking at the same time.
so now, my current project is cleaning, drying, and whitening the bones. it was a good night, even though it had felt like an off day. but now it’s today, and it’s soon to be tomorrow, so i don’t have to worry about that off-ness anymore.
9:51 pm • 5 January 2014
just playin’ around with some collage pieces i really like. and dreaming of a gin fizz. hopefully i can bring myself to organize this half-assed thought of a collage into something that suits me more.
p.s. have you ever had a pearson’s maple nut bun? you can get them at novelty candy stores, and they’re a key component to the holiday season for my family. needless to say, i got several pounds worth in my stocking (and jason’s, but he’s allergic to peanuts, so they are now mine) (tragic). i’m about to have one with a tall glass of milk and go to sleep.
4:02 am • 3 January 2014 • 1 note
i spent new year’s eve in laguna beach with my boyfriend, jason, and some of our good friends. there was lots of whiskey (of course), jason’s signature margaritas, champagne and plenty of mexican food. after it turned midnight and the new year was rung in, we all walked down from the beach house to the shore. i laid down in the sand, wrapped in several blankets, and looked up at the sky. as my vision steadied itself, i realized that venus was directly above me. the sound of the waves was consuming, and i was so warm (despite my bare feet freezing in the sand) that i wanted to fall asleep right there. even though we were all intoxicated, i still felt that in that moment, i was more present than i’d been in a while, and all at once i was feeling—for lack of a simpler word—ebullient.
when we got home today, i checked my jason’s mailbox to see if his christmas gift (which was supposed to arrive yesterday, but never came) was perhaps delivered but overlooked, and indeed it was. i got him copper-wired rice lights that look like a string of stars. it’s so wonderful to watch someone you love unwrap something that makes them happy, you know?
with all these stars in mind, i decided that i’d draw some accurate (and completely inaccurate) constellations. sharpie, watercolor, and white paint pen.
happy new year!
3:01 am • 2 January 2014 • 1 note